When Linda's hair fell out during chemo she briefly considered wigs. She didn't like them, so went to scarves. I rather like this wig picture, though
I am going to pass along some information that I hope to hell you never need: how to be an effective cancer caregiver. This information originates with the NCI, not
me, so you can rely on its veracity (and, perhaps, curse its bureaucratic
construction.) Here it is:
God knows that being a cancer caregiver is tough. Carolyn (Linda’s sister) and I shared the
work and the misery during Linda’s last few weeks. Others helped; Bunny Schneider, Linda’s
cousin, Florence DiJulio, her best friend, my kids – and lots of others. Without all of you people, but especially without
Carolyn, I would not have survived.
So glance through the NCI document, then stash it away. Chances are you will never need it. With any luck…..
And if you want to help erase this fucking disease from the
face of the earth, grab yourself a charity deduction by sending a check to the
Fred Hutchinson Cancer Research Institute, in honor of Linda Joyce Beck.
Those were hard days. I try to remember the things that went right--establishing a circle of friends to help with meals and other things, family members that supported in so many ways, the nursing expertise of Bunny, the medical resources and staff in Bellingham, the love surrounding Linda, to name a few. We were a good team, Myrl, and we gave her our all. Most caregivers are novices to the job and I know we both look back and wish we had done things differently, but we were her superheroes.
ReplyDeleteI have such compassion for those that do not have the resources we did or serve as caregivers for many months or even years. (wrote this before reading the article so it is straight from my heart)
I have read this a half-dozen times, and will surely read it again. Thank you for all your love for Linda, and for being my friend. Knowing you so closely has made my loss less unbearable. We WERE a good team, were't we? I will always wish I could have done more, but I think I did my best. So did you. Fate isn't always kind, or easy to understand, is it? Love, Myrl
DeleteThank you, Myrl. Linda led the way for us to become closer. She was on the couch as we were in the kitchen preparing a meal she couldn't eat. When I went into the living room, she smiled and said how happy she was that we were getting along so well. She knew that it was the bond that we were forming that would help us both when she was gone. She was so right.
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