I ESCAPE THE HOSPITAL. Barely

Those Fabulous Joyce Sisters

1968

Well, I’m not sure why anyone should care over much, but I am going to give a personal health report (in lieu of some useful stuff about ovarian cancer.)  First of all, I had my left knee replaced last Friday (1/10/14, that is.)  I came home the following Monday after three of the usual blissful nights we all learn to expect in hospitals.  I am doing all my exercises like a good boy – supervised by my daughter Linda, who won’t let me get away with anything.  (It is possible that she is paying my back for all those times we “grounded” her as a teenager.  Actually, that’s not very likely because I remember her being remarkably easy to raise.)  I am starting my physical therapy next week and should be as good as new by the beginning of March – at which time I intend to go to Borrego Springs and enjoy myself.  In the meantime, for the next few days at least I haven’t got the energy needed to write proper anti-cancer blogs*.  As always, go back and read the old ones, and make comments.

In passing, let us discuss hospital practices.   Is it really necessary to check “vitals” every two hours?  Is it somehow better to draw blood at 5:00 am than at, say, 6:30?  Why must your nurse, on ending her shift, feel obligated to introduce you to her replacement – even if that occurs at 1:00am?  Do hospitals win awards for hooking their patients up to the maximum number of machines that will make it impossible to sleep?  In short – don’t they damned well understand that human beings cannot function – let alone heal – without sleep?  I suspect that there are lawyers and lawsuits lurking in the background – but, what do I know?  I’m just a patient.

*What I caught and corrected was “anti-cancer blobs.”  Maybe my computer is trying to tell me something.